Today discouraging news as we are advised that her lung condition is worsening, she had developed coughing fits and spiked a fever which indicated a possible bacterial infection, so we started asking about the results from the sputum test, but hospital had no answers for us at this time. They noted that they were doing all they could to keep her stable and working on getting us answers on why she was trending in the direction of a worsening condition. At this point I wanted more information so I requested to have access to her medical portal. The request was declined by many, because since she was incapacitated she was unable to give me consent. I thought as being the husband I had medical right since we were married. After getting off the phone with the hospital I was very discouraged on the lack of information being provided. Considering we not allowed to visit her at all and all communications were over the phone, and doctors only had time to contact me every other day. contacting friends and looking for lawyers to help me gain access to her medical portal, every minute counted we were running out of time to get answers. I'm so thankful for have been surrounded by family and friends that were part of the medical community. As I'm still searching for a lawyer to get us access to the hospital. Her mom says let me make some quick contacts I believe you still have rights none of this sounds right to me. Shortly after this conversation she tells me go and get your marriage license and bring your drivers license that's all you should need to gain access to her medical portal. We arrived at the hospital went to the office we were directed to and we were able to gain access to her portal. This was a God moment, really didn't want to have to goto this extreme to gain access to what I believe I had the right to have access to. God came through and showed up in this very moment it was such a Blessing to see God move in a time of difficulty. We praise Him.
Today her condition has improved reports that Covid and Pneumonia are gone, so as we pray for healing and her to trend in the direction of healing we look to the Lord for His healing hand.
Today we get some positive news that her lungs have improvement, oxygen levels are improving. At this point we just keep her lifted up in pray as the Lord has control over all things.
Today she is stable and able to prone well, Many family, friends and church goers gathered in front of the hospital today to pray for improvement in her condition, as we wait to hear from doctors.
Well now my wife now is in ICU on the Ventilator. The only good thing about this was now we could talk straight to the nurses at the nurses desk. We were able to be a little more informed about what was going on with her condition. Things seem to be going ok up to this point other than her having to be vented. So we prayed!
One year ago today, I went to that hospital first thing in the morning as I had planned the night before. I get to the hospital its around 7:00am, the security guards at the front desk said they did not open to visitors till 8:00am. Side note why were security guards needed? I ventured around the corner to kill some time grabbed a bite to eat, just as I’m finishing, I start getting frantic text messages from my wife. “They are talking about ICU”. Side note the night before they were trying to convince her to be ventilated, even though the nurses told us that was not the case”. I told her they need to wait fo me to get there. The doctors call me as I’m walking back to the hospital, telling me that she needs to go on a ventilator, she’s exhausted and she is breathing 60 breaths a minute. Shallow breathing. Instead of the doctors meeting with me, which I thought they would do. I spent 45 minutes pacing the parking lot outside the hospital arguing with the doctors over the phone, she told doctors “i do not want to go on the vent. I told doctors they need to respect her wishes, I’m her advocate and her wishes need to be respected. They told me that had done all they could and she would most likely die if she was not vented. I requested a second opinion from another doctor. That in turn the doctors told me why do you want a different doctor we are the doctors. I stood my ground and requested this doctor be brought in. This doctor was an ENT. The doctors questioned why I would want an ENT to see her. The ENT ended up not having access to that hospital. Once I realized getting a doctor in there was not going to be an option. I requested she be transferred to another hospital. That requested was denied by the doctors they said she will most likely die she needs special equipment in order to make that happen. As I said before this went on for 45 minutes of back and forth text messaging friends to get second opinions and other drug protocols. Final the doctor changes his tune as says well since we have already done all we can, we want to just put her in ICU to monitor her condition so that if we feel she needs further care we can provide it. They assured me that they would only put her on a vent if it comes down to an absolute emergency situation. I told them that was the only way I would agree that this be done. In this moment I feel as though I failed her, because within fifteen minutes of me agreeing to put her in the ICU she was put on a ventilator. I felt hopeless and crushed that we could not be side by side making these decisions together. She obviously was alert enough to know that she did not want to be vented. At this point I feel I failed her. We talked about this is this was ever to happen she did not want to be vented. I felt defeated when I was informed moments later that she was put on a ventilator. These are the last words we spoke to each other for the rest of the time she was in the hospital. I don’t even know how this was possibly legal. I thought we had medical rights to be advocates for our loved ones.
In the midst of LT being sick, she had an event planned “The Gathering”. We were putting this all together in her honor. Well we finally got to a point where I could get her phone to her along with a journal and a pen from a dear friend. In delivering these items I was escorted to her floor, to the nurses station. I asked to speak with a nurse, the request was denied no one was able to talk with me about her condition. I left the hospital yet again without any answers on my wife’s condition. This is the only night we ever got to talk with one another. Later that evening she was in a panic telling me that they wanted to put her on a ventilator. We quickly contacted the hospital and they denied of any such request had been made by doctors or nurses. It was at this point that I realized I needed some real answers from the doctors and nurses. I took the next day off and planned to be at the hospital in the morning.
Finally got to talk to a doctor, LT was stable. Couldn’t get doctor to agree to contact us every day as the hospital said they would. Had to take what we could get for information. Visitors were not allowed. Couldn’t get nurses to speak to us we were very much in the dark as far as what was really taking place. You know when your unable to talk to anyone whether it is hours or day, every minute that goes by feels like an eternity. God brings patience in these times.
Where in the hospital you were at we had no idea, because with all the calls to the hospital we still were unable to reach anyone about your condition. Like I said in the last post God was teaching patience in these moments. So we sat and waited for doctors to call, the hospital told me they were supposed to call ever day well its been 2 days and no word. So frustrating.
One year ago to day you were admitted to the hospital, it took a little while for the news to get to H and I we got there as soon as we could, upon arriving I asked to see you, you were only in the ER at this point. The request was declined and I was told to leave and wait for the doctor to call. I tried reaching doctors and nurses with no prevail, so I waited. God has taught me such patience through out all of this. Just when you think you have a lot of patience God shows what patience really is.
My Name Is Dan and I am now recently a widower from my Best Friend of 25 years, and now have to navigate raising two teenagers without my help mate, and this is her medical story along with others that have similar stories of their own. Join me on this journey as we find help and healing in a broken medical system.