The phone rings early in the morning 2:15 its the Dr. advising me that LT's heart stopped and they performed CPR and resuscitated her, but they did not think that if her heart was to stop again that she should be not be resuscitated again, I agreed and hung up the phone.  The phone rang again it was now 2:30am and they advised me that her heart had stopped and she had passed.  I was crushed, but I praised God because He answered prayers from in the car outside the hospital.  This is when I realize God has a plan and it's not mine.

      Well it was now after church.  I was hanging out with her mom when I received a phone call from the Dr. and missed it.  I returned the phone call, the nurse answered the phone and advised me that the Dr was busy , but I needed to make time for him.  I hung up the phone and told her mom to get ready and get in to the car we were going to the hospital.  On the way I called one of her best friends and told her to meet us there, and I was hopeful because as you read in the prior post they finally did a sputum test.  With that I was sure we would have some answers to her condition.  We are now all sitting in the lobby.  The Dr calls, I advise the Dr that I want to meet with him.  He told me I have no such right for that request.  I advised him that I was her advocate and I was requesting a meeting, he affirmed that he did not like my tone.  I just relayed back that if he did not want to meet with me in person that our conversation was now over. He put me on hold and came back on the phone and advised me that we could come up to the ICU floor.  We all went up to meet with the Dr.  As the nurse at the ICU nurse station slid LT's wedding rings across the counter telling me I would probably want these back, the Dr. proceeded to tell us that LT's lung went fibrotic, with that being said "I told the doctor to give her a lung trans plant!"  He advised that they don't do that for covid patients, and advised that at this point they were waiting for her heart to stop.  The doctor had reassured us that they had done all they could for her.  As  we all stood there sobbing and I looked at her beautiful lifeless body through ICU glass, not being able to tell  her goodbye and hold her hand to pray with her.  My heart sank very deep in my chest as I realized at that moment she was most likely not returning to her earthly home.  We calmly composed ourselves and exited the hospital.  Got into the car it was her mom and I, and we just prayed that the Lord would either keep here with us or take her home to Him, but I prayed that He would make that decision quick I did not want her to have to suffer or having us to make life or death choices we left it in Gods hands at this point.

     By this time I was emotionally and physically exhausted,  I had fallen asleep on the couch.  Unable to sleep in our own bed because she was not here.  The doctors had tried to reach me multiple times that morning I woke up and realized they had called.  I returned the phone call to the Doctor.  He advised me that they finally had performed a sputum test, but while they were performing the test her heart stopped.  I had a glimmer of hope when they told me the test had been performed, in my mind I was like good they might actually come to a conclusion what is causing her infection.  But when the rest of the news came my heart sank.  I didn't know what to feel after that.  I hung up the phone and started texting and calling people with updates.  Within those updates I was being asked by others are they letting you communicate with the iPads they have.  I was dumb founded, I asked what iPads?  People were informing me that the hospital had ways for us to communicate and talk to LT, but unfortunately I guess with all the chaos in the hospital with the doctors and nurses this was never offered to us.  Another blow to our hearts of the lack of communication we had with LT.  

     Todays prognosis nurses say oxygen levels are worsening trying to get ventilator adjusted properly.  She's  stable and comfortable.

     Todays condition is steady with yesterdays prognosis stable not getting worse not getting better just trying to keep her comfortable.  Still investigating bacterial infection, with no updates at this time.

     As of 4:00am this morning I was now able to access her portal.  This was nice where as even though I'm not a doctor I can look at stats and she how she is trending. Stable today and no real changes in condition at this time.

Today discouraging news as we are advised that her lung condition is worsening, she had developed coughing fits and spiked a fever which indicated a possible bacterial infection, so we started asking about the results from the sputum test, but hospital had no answers for us at this time.  They noted that they were doing all they could to keep her stable and working on getting us answers on why she was trending in the direction of a worsening condition.  At this point I wanted more information so I requested to have access to her medical portal.  The request was declined by many, because since she was incapacitated she was unable to give me consent. I thought as being the husband I had medical right since we were married.  After getting off the phone with the hospital I was very discouraged on the lack of information being provided.  Considering we not allowed to visit her at all and all communications were over the phone, and doctors only had time to contact me every other day.  contacting friends and looking for lawyers to help me gain access to her medical portal, every minute counted we were running out of time to get answers.  I'm so thankful for have been surrounded by family and friends that were part of the medical community.  As I'm still searching for a lawyer to get us access to the hospital.  Her mom says let me make some quick contacts I believe you still have rights none of this sounds right to me.  Shortly after this conversation she tells me go and get your marriage license and bring your drivers license that's all you should need to gain access to her medical portal.  We arrived at the hospital went to the office we were directed to and we were able to gain access to her portal.  This was a God moment, really didn't want to have to goto this extreme to gain access to what I believe I had the right to have access to.  God came through and showed up in this very moment it was such a Blessing to see God move in a time of difficulty.  We praise Him.